HSC pass or fail... that's a bit harsh isn't it?

My first born started her HSC last week. As she walked out the door for her first exam I could see the tension that she was feeling and I couldn't help but think how different HSC is now to when I completed it 30 years ago.

Her first two exams were English, where she was required to complete 5 essays, as a well as a series of short answer questions. That is more than I had to do for any of my 3 degrees, of which one included a masters.

When I asked about the type of questions she had to answer, I was stunned by the complexity of the questions. And a little in awe that she didn't think it was so bad.

As a parent, the dilemma is work hard, get good results, traIn, get a good job. But they are my values, so the learning curve about how much pressure to apply has been steep.

On the one hand, we want the first born to work hard and do the best that she can, so that she has more options, for whatever it is that she decides to do. On the other hand, there are many many ways to skin a cat, and getting a good or bad HSC result should not define a child and what they may do with their life.

Failing is not ok. "Coasting" is not OK, but neither is studying so hard that they face burnout and never want to enter a class room again!

As a society we've been conditioned to look at things two ways: pass or fail; win or loose; rich or poor.

For year 12 students, pressure comes from all points: teachers, family, peers, well meaning friends. We ask with genuine interest how'd you go, what score did you get?

But I'd challenge anyone who wants to ask those questions are they the right questions to ask?

HSC is a flicker in the long rythm that makes up our life. In the real scheme of things, HSC results don't define a person. So why do we put so much pressure on our kids to do well?

Rarely do we ask or judge people on whether they are happy, content, fulfilled. We don't ask if they were satisfied.

And we don't show them that a "fail" can be a just a stumble, and that the true test of a person is how they deal with life and adversity. Bad things do happen, and how we deal with them defines character.

What really matters, for anyone, is what they do with what's thrown their way. That's what I think we should we be teaching our kids.

As an adult and employer, we complain about kids being under prepared for the workforce. And yet, any kid who gets through the HSC will be ready, it's just such a pity that they don't see it that way.

#HSC #parentingteenagers #resilience